A Fangirl
by meganmadeafunny
Summary: A collaboration with my buddy Biffy from thesociallyawkwardtwins. We wrote this for our exaggeration project in English class. It's not really a crossover, but it does reference A LOT of fandoms (Sherlock, Adventure Time, Harry Potter, Walking Dead, Hunger Games, Avengers, Bravest Warriors, etc.) so we decided to put it up here. I hope you enjoy it as much we do!


"A Fangirl"

It's safe to say that fictional characters have ruined my life.

And so has that little button on Netflix

That says "Next Episode"

Because then I end up watching _Sherlock_

For another hour and a half.

Books are at fault, too, I guess,

Because they distract me from necessary things

Like reality

And homework

And then they make me cry when they're over.

Like after I finished watching the Reichenbach Fall,

And I experienced all those Reichenbach feels.

I just sat there like:

I can't

I can't even

I have lost the ability to can

Sdklhfadsfuewjndsfajklfakdhsfjkas;

Because I guess that's my reaction to most things…

So what if I would rather spend my weekend

Holed up in my bedroom

With a two pound bag of Sour Patch Kids

Watching Netflix

Than doing something productive.

Keep in mind,

I could be watching all eight Harry Potter movies

And crying my eyes out

And eating a whole plate of cookies.

It only takes nineteen hours

If you don't include bathroom breaks

Or meals (but that's when the plate of cookies was for, after all).

If you factor in meals and bathroom breaks,

Then it adds up to twenty two hours.

That was awfully long.

Don't look at me like that

I've only done it once.

Or twice…

Fine, three times.

But it's not like I have anything better to de doing!

Like maybe homework…

Or that other English project…

Oh, well, I have all those other hours of the day

When I'm not browsing fanfiction

Or looking at fan art

Or arguing with someone about who they ship

Or fighting with people about whether they're on Team Gale or Team Peeta

Or fangirling when I buy another fandom-related thing

To plaster on my bedroom wall…

Who are we kidding?

The only hours that I'm not doing those things

Are when I'm up at 3 am

Writing more fanfiction

Or trying not to fall asleep

While reading by the tiny light of a flashlight.

_I guess being a fangirl has taken over my life…_

Now, let's just get something straight

Before I finish:

I don't stalk Benedict Cumberbatch.

I just happen to know that he's

Thirty seven years old,

Six feet tall,

and that his middle name is Timothy Carlton

Okay, fine, I might stalk him just a little,

But as a fangirl,

I think that's part of my job.

When I introduce people to my fandom,

They usually scream in terror

And run

Away...

But sometimes they join you,

So you have someone to experience the same insanity

That is your fandom.

Other times, however,

You are alone on your adventure

Through Ooo and District 12,

Hogwarts and the Nine Realms,

All alone in their world with just your feels to guide you...

Oh, and the characters, too.

Eventually a season ends and you can't help but feel sad,

But when a series ends, you die a little inside;

A part of you is broken, there are no words.

Only through fans does it live on

Reincarnated

And reborn anew...

Some people judge you for loving fictional characters,

But me, I encourage it

Because fictional characters will ALWAYS love you.

Those judgey people just need to learn to control their moop.

They will NEVER stop us from doing stuff and things

We do what we want:

THERE ARE NO RULES!

_That's why we wrote this in prose. _

But put your shirt back on, because there is _one_ rule:

You must learn to speak doge:

Wow

So exaggerate

Such English

Much learn

There are at least seven fandoms in this poem, with some memes for good measure

And as soon as we're done writing this collab, to fanfiction it goes.

Oh, won't you join us on this adventure?

No one choses the fan life,

They volunteer for it.

They start a series and think, "Oh, this is good!"

Then six seasons and twenty-three hours later they whisper, "Oh sweet Jesus, what have I done?"

And a fan is born.

But there's always those voices in the back of your brain

That just love to rain on your parade;

They drag you back to real life,

"You have work to do," they say.

And eventually you have to leave your happy place

To return to a world that's not the same

Where it doesn't rain daggers

And kids play weird games.

Only to return again, later that day,

Where your fandom remains, waiting...

_And that's all we need._


End file.
